Serious fun.

I should have known better than to start trying to change our mealtimes without having read the rest of the book.

Once I had decided to be Militant Mom about getting Liam to try foods, I read the next chapter, which confronts the issue of the picky two-year-old. French children do sometimes go through the phase of refusing food when they become a toddler. And their parents see this as normal and temporary. (Although this is less common across the pond, where parents rigorously begin expanding their children’s repertoire of tastes and textures in the first year. They aren’t slow in introducing new foods.)

To minimize the effects of this stage in development, French parents avoid turning mealtimes into a power struggle. The book states:

“Opposition to food can’t persist if there is no opponent. In the face of a child’s refusal to eat, the best parental response is serene indifference. Parents should remind themselves: ‘I know this will pass. My child will not continue refusing to eat if I simply refuse to react.’”

Well, that’s a reassuring kick in the pants. I’ve been handling this wrong, too!

If French kids refuse food, their parents would simply take it away, with little fuss. But they are adamant about offering no substitutes. And they break the rules to encourage children to try new foods, like offering them in a more informal, festive setting. For the French, this usually comes in the form of appetizers before dinner, offered in the living room instead of at the dining table. This is “a ritualized way of breaking the rules that feels festive and fun,” Le Billon says.

The French don’t fuss, hover, or become anxious about their kids’ eating habits or refusal of foods. As a result, food never becomes a power struggle. Mealtimes are routine, but the French are serious about making them fun.

So my new tactics are:

·   When introducing new foods, make the setting fun and festive and add a sense of mischief.

·   Meals are eaten at the table, but if Liam won’t try a food, simply take it away (instead of our method of force and coercion, or commonly used bribes and threats).

·   Use positive language always when talking about food.

·   Do not use punishment when Liam refuses food, but rather natural consequences, such as no dessert or being hungry until the next meal. These are usually better motivators.

Speaking of motivation, I’m now more intent than ever to get off to a good start with Riley. I even found this cookbook that I’m going to try when we start solid foods!