That's right! These two handsome gents are going to be the best big brothers to a sweet baby SISTER, Eva Caroline! I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that we're having a girl. My whole life has been filled with trains and trucks and sticks and rocks for the past four years. It's hard for me to imagine how that will change in July. The week we discovered that our baby was a girl, my husband graciously sent me on an outing one evening to "get in the spirit" of it: shop for baby girl clothes, go peruse the girl section of kids stores, pick out stuff for her nursery, etc. It was a little overwhelming!
To be honest, I've been a little apprehensive (read: scared beyond reason) about having a girl. I doubted seriously whether I was equipped to be a mom of a daughter, and if I had what it takes to raise a daughter who is confident, strong, Godly, kind, gracious, and fierce. A daughter who knows who she is (separate from who I am or who anyone expects her to be). But God has really changed my heart and allowed me to relinquish that need for control, to overcome that fear that I will screw things up royally. Our children have a purpose that is completely separate from me and my expectations, and it's such an honor to be entrusted with the task of helping her discover her identity.
What's even more precious to us is what her name actually means. Eva means "life," which was a prayer of mine when we lost our previous baby. I wanted more than anything "for God to put life inside of me again." My soul ached for that. Caroline means "song of happiness." It's hard to explain, really, but that couldn't be more perfect. You see, I've felt from a young age the call to be a worshiper; I've written many songs and love nothing more than to be involved in worship ministry, to help welcome the life-changing presence of God so that others can experience Him like never before. It's one area of my life that is so sacred, but also that the devil has attacked so heavily. My miscarriage actually happened while I was playing bass on stage to one of my favorite worship songs during the middle of a church service, which has been a difficult issue to move past. I remember vividly one Sunday where I was scheduled for that same church campus, to play that same song, and during rehearsal, I kept breaking down into tears. That evening, I shared with our worship team before the service that I was struggling, and they prayed over me. It was then that I experienced such emotional healing and freedom from my grief. The next week, I found out I was pregnant with Eva. I'm so thankful that we serve a God who redeems our brokenness and painful experiences!
On the lighter side, do you know what else is fun? Baby girl items on Pinterest! I created a pin board dedicated to Eva and my dreams for her nursery and wardrobe. A few of my favorite items so far:
1. These emerald green moccasins. Seriously? How cute are these?!
2. A pair of bold floral leggings.
3. This adorable cotton blouse.
4. This mint herringbone crib sheet.
5. This Rifle Paper Co. marigold art print.
Eva's nursery is mostly a neutral palette: cream walls, white curtains, cream glider, espresso-finish crib and changing table. So I'm planning to incorporate pops of navy, mustard, teal, minty aqua, and gold. I'm really excited about this quilt I ordered from Pottery Barn kids, and I've been eyeing this accent pillow from West Elm. I also just picked up this West Elm rose gold lamp, which I think will go perfectly in her room!
To spruce up the changing table a bit, I changed out the hardware with some knobs from Anthropologie and Hobby Lobby. I love how it's all coming together!
And just for fun, here are just a few (unedited) outtakes from my little photo shoot with the boys in their Big Brother shirts (I literally took 36 photos to get the one good one shown above!):
|Riley did NOT want to be touched.|
|So Liam got a little offended.|