To Whom It May Concern:
I had been doing so well on my diet recently that I felt I deserved a little reward, so the other day I purchased a bag of your Tootsie Fruit Rolls; few treats can compare to this sassy little snack.
I was so disappointed (read: crushed) when I tore open the bag I'd hidden in my closet for after my kids' bedtime and discovered that there were quite possibly only eight assorted fruity rolls in the bag; a scant smattering of citrus amidst a sea of blue vanilla wrappers.
Now, let's be clear: there's nothing wrong with vanilla. It's a much better alternative to the limp handshake that is the chocolate flavor. (This is personal preference only, of course. My mom went into labor with me over a bag of the original chocolate rolls, so they have their merit and should keep their spot on the candy aisle.) Obviously you agree that vanilla is a crowd-pleaser, or you wouldn't offer a bag filled entirely with vanilla rolls. Vanilla is smooth and sweet and is great when you smush it with the orange rolls to create a dreamsicle experience. Vanilla is like a warm friendly hug, but it's still kind of...well, vanilla. BUT THE FRUIT FLAVORS are a passionate smackaroo right on the kisser. They are tangy and tart and tantalizing, the perfect amount of acidity to cut the sweetness. And what is a warm hug without a kiss that follows and knocks you off your feet? Dissatisfying at best; heartbreaking at worst.
And since I didn't pick up a bag of the purely vanilla Tootsie Rolls (I double-checked), I'd expected more kisses than hugs. It was like an anticlimatic end to what I thought was a great first date. Or more realistically in my world, the end of a hectic day with two toddlers.
I want to bring this to your attention because I would never want to drive a wedge between myself and my beloved Tootsies. The key to any healthy relationship is honesty. And I wanted to give you the opportunity to make sure that, moving forward, maybe you could give the fruit rolls the center stage they so desperately deserve.
Thank you for your consideration!