So, THIS happened!

Happy New Year, friends!

I just read over my last blog post from, when…August? So much has happened since this summer! Only some of our closest friends and family truly know what we’ve walked through the past four and a half months, but it’s been such a testament of God’s grace, goodness, and provision that I want to be vulnerable enough to share our story with you. So, here’s the update:

The day after I wrote my last post, the unthinkable happened: my husband lost his job. Not only did he lose it, he was terminated for something he was falsely accused of doing by some disgruntled former employees. One of these employees even had the nerve to threaten my husband, me, and our son. My husband has had an impeccable record with this company, had even doubled sales within those nine months he’d worked in his current location, and had completed every project he was given. Since he’d just received an excellent performance review and a pay raise, we trusted the company to listen to the truth, and we were certain that once they discovered Kelley wasn’t at fault, they would repeal their decision. Unfortunately, our trust was misplaced, and this was a decision we had to live with and move forward from.

As a wife, it’s gut-wrenching to sit as a helpless spectator while your husband endures such an undeserved blow. Little did I know, this wasn’t the end of it. A few weeks later, we stumbled over another huge shockwave: I learned that I was pregnant with our second child! I went into pure shock and almost passed out as I handed my husband the positive test. It had taken two years to get pregnant with Liam; I figured we’d at least have to try to get pregnant the second time (we were trying NOT to get pregnant!). Children are ALWAYS a blessing and a reward; I fully believe that. But I am a stay-at-home mom, my husband was unemployed, and we’d lost our insurance. Not to mention we’d just bought a house, and the expenses that come with home ownership had depleted our savings. It was almost too much to bear.

Over the next few months we faced the biggest challenge and test of our faith that we’ve had in our eight years of marriage, and possibly in my entire life. We were angry at the injustice surrounding Kelley’s termination, frightened at the reality of another mouth to feed, unsettled about being uninsured with prenatal care around the bend, and had no idea where our next mortgage payment would come from.

Since pregnancy is a pre-existing condition, my only option for insurance was applying for Medicaid, and I applied for WIC as well. I’ll be honest; this was a huge blow to my ego (it’s even a little embarrassing for me to mention now). My husband and I have three college degrees between the two of us; we’ve always worked and always had excellent insurance. We’ve been self-sufficient for a long time, so to be thrown into a situation where we had no other option but to seek government assistance was not only new territory for us, it offended my senses. I suddenly understood what it was like to stand in a grocery store line with WIC coupons. How did we get here? I had my moments of wallowing in self-pity, I’ll admit.

One morning, Kelley and I were sitting at the breakfast table listening to one of my favorite worship songs, and the lyrics completely broke my heart:

I believe that You’re my healer. I believe You are all I need.

I believe You’re my portion. I believe You’re more than enough for me.

Jesus, You’re all I need.

Nothing is impossible for You. You hold my world in Your hands.

Those words had always been beautiful to me, but the weight of them crushed the burden of our circumstances. With tears streaming down my face, I turned to my husband and said, “We either believe that, or we don’t. And if we do, then that settles things.” At that moment, we decided to rest in the peace that passes all understanding and watch God work a miracle.

We started getting checks in the mail. Some from friends and family; a couple from Kelley’s former company, including a bonus he’d earned the past quarter. One dear friend who visited randomly left enough money on our bathroom counter to cover the cost of the new carseat Liam needed. My mom stocked our pantry, fridge and freezer. My in-laws paid our mortgage and some other bills. I was able to find part-time employment in the meantime. Kelley,however, was struggling to find new employment, and I didn’t understand why things weren’t working out for him. I believe You're my portion. I believe You’re more than enough for me.

But God was working in ways we couldn’t yet see, including within our hearts.

During the first three months of my pregnancy, I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (which I’d had the full nine months of my first pregnancy). I was even hospitalized and needed IV medications and fluids due to dehydration, and I got so weak I could barely walk to the bathroom to throw up. I couldn't change Liam’s diapers or prepare his meals without getting violently ill. HG was debilitating, and I spent much of those three months lying in bed. God knew all of this.

Ever since we’d moved to Birmingham, I’d been praying for Kelley to get a new job, one that would be a promotion, that would befulfilling, and that would move him out of the retail industry with its nonsensical hours and unreasonable stress level. But Kelley is not a quitter, and he wouldn’t have left that hostile work environment on his own. So God removed Him from what we learned was a dangerous situation, and since He was blessing us with another child, He not only gave Kelley three months of rest, but also allowed him to be home to take care of Liam when I couldn’t. I honestly have no idea what I would have done if Kelley had been working during the time I was sick. Nothing is impossible for You. You hold my world in Your hands.

Kelley started his new job as an insurance agent with State Farm December 10. He loves his new job and is in a much more peaceful and productive environment where he is appreciated for the work he does. That same week, I stopped getting so sick every day, and now I only occasionally get nauseous if I don’t get enough rest. I believe that You’re my healer. I believe You are all I need.

God doesn’t allow things to be taken out of our lives unless He wants to replace them with something better for us. He removed us from the things we’d found security in apart from Him, and I realized that our lives did not reflect the picture He had in His mind. I knew that He was rebuilding from scratch a life that would look completely different from what it did in August, andI looked forward to the change: for a heart that was completely at peace, for eyes that look to only Him, for a mouth that speaks life and healing, for ears that hear His whispers, and for feet that move, not out of fear or self-ambition, but in response to the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Another blessing? The only thing I’d really wanted for Christmas this year was to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. My doctor's office offers gender ultrasounds starting at 16 weeks gestation foronly $50, but we had decided that since we’re now playing catch-up financially, it’d be more practical to use that money somewhere else. I secretly kept praying and hoping. Earlier in December, my aunt unexpectedly sent me Christmas money that was more than enough to pay for the ultrasound. So, the day I hit the 16-week mark (on our eighth anniversary), I scheduled the ultrasound and was able to give my husband the best anniversary present ever: another boy!

What challenges did you face in 2012, and what are you most looking forward to about 2013? I’d love to hear your stories!