Conclusion!

Sorry this post is late! Seems a nasty cold is making its way through our family, and today is the first day this week that I, and our son, have been well enough to allow for some time to write an update.

The reunion came and went last weekend, and so ended my 10-week challenge! 

This ended up being a challenge of a different variety for me. I didn't meet my goal. As of this morning, I'm still at 137. So, either my scale is broken, or losing those last seven pounds will require more of a commitment than I've been able to give these past few months, especially with the process of buying a house, adjusting to life with a crawler, and coping with a sick baby. Weight loss or no weight loss, I can't beat myself up over my defeat because, in other ways, this was a victory for me.

I've been working out most days of the week, though not all. Mainly, my workouts have been Insanity workouts, with a few running sessions, Pure Barre routines, or Jillian Michaels videos interspersed, along with weight training. My stamina has increased, and so has my energy level and overall fitness level. I definitely feel stronger, and that's what counts, right? 

My diet hasn't been as disciplined as I set out for it to be. What can I say? I fight a constant battle with a very persistent sweet tooth. But, I have toned down the sweet treat indulges, and my body has thanked me for it.

So, what was the real challenge for me? I had an epiphany a few weeks ago, when it became clear to me that I had this reunion thing all wrong. It's great to have a focus and work toward a goal, but it's important to make sure it's the right goal. It's counterproductive to pressure yourself to accomplish something that maybe you weren't meant to accomplish. 

This reunion had spun me so much into a tizzy that last Saturday as I got ready, I almost had a panic attack. I was teased a lot in high school (who wasn't, really?) for my curly red hair, glasses, fair skin, short height, faith, not drinking or sleeping around...you name it, I was laughed at for it. This isn't to say I feel sorry for myself; those days are long gone, and I'm proud of the girl I was then and the woman I've become now. But, there was still a part of me that felt I had something to prove to these people I haven't seen in 10 years, and probably won't see for 10 more. And isn't being fabulous the ultimate revenge, really?

My three best friends and me at our 10th grade Christmas dance. How cute are we?!

The girls (minus Heather—we missed you!) at our 10-year reunion

All this effort that I put into improving my outward appearance had started to distract me from the real purpose of this reunion: to have fun and reconnect with those who helped write my story. What did I have to prove, really? Why did I feel I so desperately needed anyone's approval?

Despite my resolve to live in denial, the reality is that I am not 18 anymore, and I will never be 18 again. I've been chasing after my college-age self, thinking that if I work hard enough, I can look like I did when I was 20. And not only look that way, but prove that even though I am married and have a child, that I am still that same person and can still keep up. When, the beautiful truth is that I should change from the beginning of my 20s to the end.

Truth? My husband and I were both yawning on the car ride to the reunion at 6:30! We were more tempted to capitalize on our night out by parking somewhere and taking a nap after a grueling week. Instead of going out to party at a bar with my old classmates after the reunion ended at 10, we were out the door at 10 til to relieve our babysitter and so I could get out of that dress and breathe a little easier. And as I kicked those merciless heels back into the depths of my closet, I also kicked regret to the curb.

Revisiting my past brought me closure. Gone is my desire to prove anything to anyone. The only thing I want to do now is embrace who I am at 28—a wife to a man who loves the crazy out of me; a mom to the sweetest 11-month-old who thinks I am the funniest, silliest, cuddliest toy he has in his possession; with a body who endured a natural childbirth and lives to rock some Insanity workouts afterward; a friend to some of the most amazing women I could have in my life; a daughter to a set of parents who sacrificed immeasurably to raise me right; and a sister to a guy I couldn't be prouder of.

So I have wider hips and laugh lines? These badges of honor were earned. I've endured a broken tailbone, a herniated disc, patellar tendonitis, a half-marathon, a challenging career, marriage and all its ups and downs, childbirth, home ownership, loss of loved ones and friendships, five moves...all while in my 20s.

Me with my love. Isn't he handsome? 

So, what's next? I still want to push my body to reach the next level of fitness, for my own personal satisfaction and a desire to continue improving myself. And I also plan to balance reaching my fitness goals with juggling the rest of the joys and challenges in my life, instead of punishing myself when I have to skip a workout due to more pressing circumstances.

The lesson learned: fitness is not a future event; it's a current process. And I should strive to be a better person, not because of any external pressure to be thinner, faster, or more toned, but so I can live a more fulfilling life, and because it brings me joy.

Has anyone else struggled with this revelation? Feel free to comment or send me an email. I'd love to hear your stories!

Well, I'm screwed.

The bright side: our house is getting into tip-top shape. At least that makes one of us.

We finally closed on our home and moved in at the end of June! This is our first home, and I absolutely love living here. We painted three bedrooms and redid our kitchen cabinets in one day, and moved our stuff in with the help of my father- and brother-in-law in one day. Yep. I could barely move after those two days were over. Since then I've probably officially worked out only four times: three of those were Insanity workouts and one was a run downtown (including sprints and bleachers, followed by a mad dash to the car after I about got caught in a thunderstorm).

My saving grace may be that, although I haven't lost any more weight, I have lost a couple of inches in my waist. And guess what? I tried the dress on that I'm going to wear to my reunion, and it actually fits! So, that's something.

Am I disappointed in myself? You betcha. It seems I'm not the masochistic machine that I once was. Either that, or I'm still recovering from our move and the endless list of projects that is synonymous with home ownership.

So with all that in mind, I'm revising my goal. My goal now is to break 135. That's less than three pounds to go with little more than four weeks on the clock.

Here goes...

Derailed

Is it just me, or does it seem like every time we resolve to make a change in our lives, the cards tend to stack themselves against us? Anyone else have that problem? Just me, then?

First of all, let me just say that this WILL NOT become a blog in which I give a bunch of excuses for why I keep experiencing setbacks, but week 2 of my 10-week challenge completely fell to the wayside. I believe I exercised twice this week, and I honestly have no idea what I ate (except that I had grilled chicken, baked sweet potato and salad for dinner tonight...and a homemade vanilla milkshake...*hangs head*). With Father's Day, a teething child, issues with our paperwork for our house (we're supposed to close sometime this week), packing and prepping for our move, spontaneous road trips (I did do a little hiking one day, so maybe that counts for something), let's just say there were no additional pounds lost this week. At least I didn't gain any back. In fact, I didn't make any gains at all...

Ok, but tomorrow is a new day, and even though this week we will close on our house, do some painting, and move into our new house (God willing and the creek don't rise), I am back on track.

One of my worst antagonists for derailment: lack of planning. It was Thursday before I got to the grocery store to stock up on healthy food choices, so for several days I practically lived off Subway and Chick Fil A. It's nearly impossible to meet a goal without formulating and abiding by a plan. But my fridge is stocked now, and since my husband is off work this week, I have both help with my son and moral support. 

Here goes week 3...

Motivation

 

Looky what came in the mail yesterday! It just got real. Nine weeks left. This invitation is going on my fridge as a warning beacon every time I open the door.

The first week of my 10-week challenge is over, and my weigh-in made me as happy as Jessica Simpson with a box of Pop Tarts: I've lost 2.4 pounds this week!!! Seeing that number in front of my toes just revs me up even more! Fewer things are more motivating than seeing progress.

I skipped the Insanity Fit Test at the beginning of last week, so I had an extra day to work out yesterday. I chose to do P90X Kenpo and Ab Ripper. If you've never tried a kenpo workout, I highly recommend it! This 1-hour workout is filled with punches, kicks, blocks and a lot of stretching, is virtually no impact, and will tone pretty much every muscle in your body. It's a great workout for what should be recovery days. My heart got a little break, my muscles got a good stretch, and I was still drenched by the end of the workout. And even though it's slower paced, it's anything but boring. I used 1-pound wrist weights, and I'm sore in all kinds of new places today! I'm looking forward to the Insanity Plyo Cardio Circuit today, and I'm planning to go for a nice jog this evening. 

 

I pretty much had leftovers to eat yesterday, so my menu lately is nothing to write home about. But since I am down to one pumping session every other day (yay!) and am no longer expending those extra calories, this upcoming week I am really going to commit to giving my diet a nice trim: baked chicken or fish for dinner, fresh salads, steamed or grilled veggies, fruits, and whole grains.

I have a couple of baked tilapia recipes I'm excited to try this week, but I'm open to learning new flavors! What's your favorite way to cook fish or chicken?

Catch-up

My handsome husband's birthday was yesterday, and you can probably guess what that means...I took the day off. No workout, unless you can count a few hours of shopping (which I do), and no keeping track of what I ate. Let's just say, I celebrated well. :)

Today, though, I'm back on track. That means Insanity Plyo Cardio Circuit and Pure Barre Pershing Square 2. Boy, that was a hard 1.5-hour combination! My lower half was shaking as I trudged back upstairs after my workout (my home gym is in our basement). 

Tuesday, I did Insanity Pure Cardio and P90X Ab Ripper X. My husband's birthday festivities began Tuesday evening for us with a pizza and movie night, so I am again excusing myself on birthday calories! I did eat healthy the rest of the day:

Breakfast
1 egg, scrambled
tropical smoothie 

Lunch
leftover jambalaya


I've always admired those individuals who could stay the course and choose healthy meal options while on vacation or celebrating life events. I haven't decided yet whether I'd like to strive to be one of those people; I'm definitely not to the point where I can pass up birthday cake (or in my husband's case, apple pie—so there was fruit involved). It's becoming clear why my body doesn't change as fast as I'd like: to me, there are some foods that do taste as good as skinny feels. Or so I think... 

My meals today:

Breakfast
Life cinnamon cereal
skim milk
banana
coffee 

Lunch
leftover chicken and pasta from lunch yesterday 

Dinner
6" turkey and white American cheese on honey oat bread from Subway
chips (oops!)
white chocolate macadamia nut cookie (oops!)


So, I obviously have some work to do in the diet department. I give myself a B+ overall for today. Two more days until weigh-in, so I better make up for it tomorrow!

Control

Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to my workout today. Day 3 of Insanity is the Cardio Recovery DVD, which I assumed was going to be a boring, low-key, mansy-pansy workout. Glorified stretching. I figured I would at least need to pair it with a Pure Barre DVD to get the most bang for my buck. (Read about my Pure Barre workouts here.)

Not to mention that I took my "before" photo today, and well, let's just say that after that, I wanted to kill it in my gym. I didn't want to look like that for another second! (Hopefully, as soon as my milk supply dries up, my metabolism will get an extra boost.)

Well, if you've ever done that workout video, it's not a wussy workout. It is slower paced and wasn't enough to get my heart racing, but it's about control instead. It's a lot like Pure Barre in that you perform slow, controlled movements that require complete concentration and engagement of both body and mind. That's not my strong suit. I like workouts where I put my body through the ringer but can let my mind wander. High intensity, high impact. So this was more of a challenge than I had imagined. But my muscles were shaking toward the end! 

If a tree falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

Not only was my workout a stretch for me, but I'm learning that I really don't like keeping a food diary. I've always boasted a "healthy appetite;" I'm a girl who likes to eat and just makes up for it in the gym. I simply don't like having to give an account of what I've eaten that day. Plus, I'm freakin' hungry when I work out this much! But this kind of accountability is necessary for that very reason, I think. It forces me away from mindless overeating, from believing that calories eaten in secret don't really count. I've also heard that working out will get you in great shape, but you won't look like it unless you also watch what you eat.


So here's what I ate today: 

Breakfast:
Cheerios with skim milk and a banana
coffee 

Lunch:
leftover shrimp and angel hair pasta (if you missed this recipe, get it here) 

Snack:
a spoonful of peanut butter 

Dinner:
jambalaya (get the recipe)
2 slices cinnamon toast (low-sugar)


This weight-loss challenge is going to be good for me, body and soul. Hopefully, not only will my body get in shape and I'll lose the 10 pounds, but I'll also train myself to start living a more self-controlled, disciplined life. 

Shrimp and angel hair pasta

I got this recipe from my mom, and though I still can't make it quite as good as she does, I make it all the time. We had this tonight for dinner, in fact, and it is so easy and delicious that I have to share it with you! It's the perfect light summer fare.

Baby shrimp and angel hair pasta

Ingredients: 

2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

2 Tbsp butter

3-4 cloves garlic, chopped

1 lemon, zested

1/3 lb fresh baby shrimp, pealed and deveined, seasoned with salt and pepper

1 cup grape tomatoes, halved

1/3 lb angel hair pasta, cooked al dente

salt/pepper

1/4 c white wine, optional

Heat a large skillet over medium high heat. 

Add olive oil and melt butter into it. 

Add garlic and saute for 2 minutes.

Add lemon zest and shrimp, and squeeze juice from half of lemon into pan. Heat shrimp through for another 2 minutes.

Add wine and tomatoes. Toss and heat tomatoes through. 

Add cooked pasta to the pan and toss to coat evenly in sauce.

Season with salt and pepper. 

I've modified this recipe to simplify measurements and allow for leftovers. I use a whole bag of frozen shrimp, one package of grape tomatoes, and one package of angel hair pasta (sometimes we use whole wheat, but I'm not a stickler). This recipe is delicious with or without the wine, too; we don't always keep it in the house, so a lot of times I make it without.

I hope you enjoy this dish as much as we do!