Transition

This weekend Kelley and I transitioned Liam from a crib to a toddler bed! We had strategized about this day since I found out I was pregnant, but I had mixed feelings about it and wondered if he was too young, if we were forcing it, if he’d fall out and get hurt, or if he’d put up a fight to get out of bed.

It’s also a symbol of his growing independence, and that’s a painful thing for me to process. Removing a significant boundary and the safety of his crib and trusting him with a new level of independence is bittersweet for a mom. (At least I have another baby on the way, right? I get to start from the beginning again in a few short weeks!)

But this was what was needed for our growing family, and we wanted to make this transition before Riley comes. In a way, preparing a place for Riley in our home helps me make room for him in my heart. It’s a tangible expression of me realizing that Liam will not be my one and only for much longer.

So, this was the big weekend!

Showing off his new sleeping quarters.

Liam loved his new bed! He’s a relatively quick learner when it comes to listening to his daddy and me, and we didn’t have that much resistance teaching him to stay seated in the bed. He was so excited about the new bed that he stayed awake for almost three hours after bedtime talking to his bear lovey until he finally crashed!

In an effort to be completely honest, though, I do think my husband and I made it a little more stressful than it needed to be. We’d imagined the worst and let the opinions of naysayers rattle the peace we’d had about our decision. Not to mention that switching beds meant we set up Riley’s nursery and moved around furniture and other belongings all weekend. It was a little overwhelming, despite how productive we were. Tears flowed and tempers flared. And Liam felt our anxiety, because even though he was cooperative about the new bed, he was as tense as we were this weekend about so much change at once.

We ended on a good note, at least. I in no way think we are experts in this area, and most of the time it felt like we were having to make things up as we went along, but since the big change was a victory, I’ll mention a few things we did that made the transition smoother: 

We thought about what we wanted this new phase to look like, and we set the standards. I got a lot of comments from others such as, “You can kiss naptimes goodbye,” “Good luck getting him to listen to you,” “Oh, he’s going to climb out of the bed; there’s no avoiding that,” etc. It’s a good thing my husband and I are stubborn! Instead of letting Liam determine the boundaries, we made our expectations clear and made sure he knew that we were in charge. Liam will eventually rise to whatever standard we set (even if he challenges us at first), so we made sure he knew what we expected: he was not to stand up in the bed (for safety reasons), and he was not to get out of bed until one of us came and got him (because sleep time is not play time). 

We involved Liam as much as possible. I’d talked to Liam for weeks about how his new “big boy” bed was coming soon, all the way from Mississippi. (The bed is a hand-me-down from his older cousin.) He got to help us pick out the bedding and even “helped” Kelley put the bed together. We kept the bedding close to the same color and style as his crib bedding, at least for a while, to help ease the transition. 

Helping Daddy assemble the bed.

Testing things out.

We ditched the crib. Some websites online suggested leaving the crib in the room and allowing the child to sleep in it still, until he gets used to seeing the big bed. I felt this would be confusing, and I didn’t want to give Liam an “out.” In an effort to just keep things simple, we removed the crib and didn’t look back. 

We maintained his naptime and bedtime routines. Predictability seems to make kids feel secure, and keeping his routine the same helped him understand that he was supposed to act like business as usual. 

We respected who he is. The first night, we noticed that Liam was having trouble getting settled. He usually buries his head in the corner of the bumper when he sleeps, and Kelley mentioned that he probably just didn’t know what to do without the bumper. So I made a Target run and got a couple of body pillows to add to the bed. My makeshift bumper seemed to do the trick; Liam settled in and went right to sleep.

Finally asleep!

Liam sleeps 12 hours at night, usually from 7:30-8 until 7:30-8. Most mornings I don’t get him up until 8, so if he wakes up a little early, he’ll play in his crib until I go get him. This morning, he woke up at 7:15, but instead of going ahead and getting him up when he was ready, I put some stuffed animals and a book in his bed and told him to stay in there until I came back to get him. With a few things to entertain him, he did exactly that! 

We rewarded his obedience. To thank him for being so obedient, I surprised him with a new Curious George hand puppet book. And this morning, when he stayed in bed until Kelley and I went back for him, we lavished our praise on him. 

Reading his new book to Daddy and me

Since we switched out Liam's bed, that meant we were able to get the nursery at least partly set up. We still need to figure out a small nightstand and lamp and hang wall art, but here's at least a sneak peek:

Riley's woodland friends.

"Why is my furniture in here now?"

32 WEEKS HONEST

When I first read this article, Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life, that a friend recently posted on Facebook, my first impression was that it was much ado about nothing, probably because I recently went through a Facebook cleanse and pared down what I view on my news feed anyway. And I simply do not have the time to pine over someone else’s 5-star restaurant meal or trip to Disney.

But when it showed up again on Kelly Hicks’s blog (one of my favorites), it got me thinking. How honest am I, really? Where do I draw the line between putting my best foot forward and creating a false reality just to impress others? I’m not very sure. So I thought I’d accept Kelly’s challenge, pull back the curtain and show a little more of my messy, daily life.

Some days the bed gets made; most days it doesn't.

Why put away toiletries when I'm just going to need them again later?

Clean dishes right where we can find them.

This is coming to mind since I’m 32 weeks pregnant this week. Tying shoelaces are a thing of the past, since I can’t reach my toes, and there is usually a sprinkling of matchbox cars and puzzle pieces on the floor for my husband to gather up when he gets home because I just can’t bend down to pick them up anymore. I mostly have to leave things where I drop them and wait for someone to come along and pick them up. Thank goodness my son is starting to learn how to pick up his toys!

Kicking them out of the way counts as cleaning up, right?

Pay no mind to the spattering of fingerprints on the glass door or the dusty floor!

I also vowed that with this pregnancy, as soon as the hyperemesis waned, I would stick to a healthy diet with very little junk. Well, that was before I started having an overwhelming craving for pop tarts. Does anyone even know what pop tarts are made of? I don’t. But that didn’t stop me from eating five s’mores pop tarts in one day. (I believe that was why I’d gained four pounds at my last doctor’s appointment!) Why oh why does pregnancy cause us to eat things we would never put in our mouths otherwise? How is it even possible to crave things that I don’t remember ever tasting before, like Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries?

I'll get around to picking up the crumbs...eventually.

Liam finally got four molars and his top two canines to come through, and now he’s working on four more bottom teeth (I don’t know all the names of them). Yesterday, I discovered he had a fever of 102 from a virus. So he’s been pretty grumpy for his usually sunny disposition. The only upside? I’ve gotten lots of cuddles from him this week. 

Despite the unmade bed, cluttered bathroom counter, or coffee grounds in the kitchen sink, I still wouldn’t trade my life for that of my former college classmate who’s traveling the world. Our lives may be messy, but that’s what makes them beautiful!

One day we'll get a toy box. Until then, the corners will do just fine.

Happy Resurrection Day!

Today changes everything.

It is the single most profound, important day for mankind. It changed the course of history. It changed the direction of my life and yours.

The cross is the common symbol for Christianity, and rightly so. At the cross, the work of Jesus was finished. He bore our sickness, our sorrows, our pain, our sin and shame so we would no longer have to carry it.

But that's not where the story ended. And there is an empty tomb to prove it.

 

"Because I live, you also will live." —Jesus (John 14:19)

This was the theme verse today at our church's Easter service. I love that this day isn't just about the fact that Jesus lives. That in itself is a glorious truth that makes my heart sing. But he didn't just do it for his own glory. He lives so that we can live. I mean, really live. Be fully alive and present, not weighed down by the cares of this world, but as overcomers, victors. Co-heirs in an eternal kingdom. 

Is there a part of you that needs to come alive? Lost hopes or dreams that you've silenced or buried under a mountain of stress and worldly burdens? Let Jesus breathe his new life into you!

Happy Resurrection Day!

A SAHM's life is the life for me.

This morning, Babycenter.com asked me if I minded being called a stay-at-home mom (Or, SAHM, if you’re into that sort of thing). I love Babycenter’s knack for asking me questions that I was just asking myself recently (get out of my head, BC!).

I don’t really care whether what I do labels me as a stay-at-home mom (except that I would go crazy if I literally had to stay at home all the time). What does bother me is the general perception of what SAHMs actually do. It seems so many people think being a stay-at-home mom makes me spoiled, self-indulgent, unmotivated, uneducated or lazy, but I’m none of those things. Neither am I a daytime TV addict. I don’t even have cable!

I frequently get snippy comments from some working moms (another term I don’t particularly care for) about how they “work full-time, so they can’t x” or that they “don’t have the luxury of staying at home.” I had one person tell me, “Well, you have to think about the parents who actually work.”

Honestly, I didn’t realize my life was so luxurious. We make a ton of sacrifices so that I can be the person who raises our children. And while the term “stay-at-home mom” implies that I have a somewhat passive role, it’s anything but easy.

When I worked a full-time graphic design job, I would enter the office in the morning with some sort of game plan laid out for me. I had a pretty good idea of my daily workload and what my day would look like. I had stimulating conversations with educated adults all day long. I had plenty of great lunch dates with friends for mental breaks. I trained and supervised other employees who made quick, tangible progress. I received awards and recognition for a job well done.

Now, I am responsible for planning out every minute of every day so that my son and I remain productive. All day long I have conversations with a person whose vocabulary I can count on my fingers. Explaining simple tasks such as how to sit on a blanket requires thinking in the same realm as an 18-month-old. I wear the hats of a nurse, a chef, a financial planner, a penny-pincher, and a housekeeper, and I may not even get so much as a hug out of it at the end of the day. And just when I think I’ve gotten some things figured out, everything changes because my son has hit another developmental milestone. Doing what I do can be pretty isolating, and it’s the most challenging job I’ve ever had.

I’m certainly not complaining! I love my son so incredibly much and treasure my time with him. My life is extraordinary, but it’s not luxurious. We don’t opt for me to care for our kids because we can afford it. Because my husband and I feel it’s the right thing for our family, we make it work and trust God to provide for our needs. And we do without A LOT.

I honestly admire women who can have a successful, thriving career and then come home and keep their house in order and still make adequate quality time for their children. I seriously don’t know how they do it! From the moment I had my son, something inside me changed. I knew right then that there was no way I could still give 100% at my job AND be an excellent, engaged wife and mom. I didn’t have what it takes to do both. Sacrifices would be made somewhere, and corners would end up being cut. So I gave up the thing I knew I could live without.

But it’s worth it to me to be the one who teaches my child his colors or sees him walk or clap for the first time. It’s worth it to be able to introduce him to new activities and experiences that expand his mind and excite him. It’s worth it to stretch myself—creatively, spiritually, physically and mentally—because I’m devoting my time to raising up Godly men. It’s a thankless, misunderstood job sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

WEEK IN REVIEW

Yesterday marks the 30-week point in my pregnancy, and I have to be honest, I’ve been so restless lately! The third trimester has hit me like a ton of bricks: I’m exhausted again, I’m starting to be pretty uncomfortable, and frequent sciatica flare-ups and aches are abrupt reminders that it’s time to slow down…and I hate having to slow down! I’m ready not to be pregnant anymore; thankfully, my doctor suspects Riley will come around the 37-38 week mark (Liam was born the day I hit 38 weeks), so that only leaves a couple more months to prepare for our newest addition. This week, we found this rug for his room, and I got started on some artwork for the walls:

Easter is probably my favorite holiday, and I’ve enjoyed getting into the spirit this year. My family celebrates Easter as a time to reflect upon the sacrificial and victorious account of Jesus, and in honor of the resurrection, I’ve been listening to this gem that was recorded live at our church back in September. Such a powerful album! Get it on iTunes here, or visit the Web site here.

I love the spiritual symbolism of Easter eggs, and I’d been searching with no luck to find a community egg hunt that would be appropriate for children under 2, so we held one at our house for Liam’s little friends. Only, the weather was yucky outside…so we moved it indoors! What a fun, crazy time! (Although Liam was more excited about eating blueberry muffins than hunting eggs.)

For refreshments, I decided to try a new twist on orange juice with a new recipe for sunrise punch that’s perfect for a breakfast or brunch get-together. It was delicious! If you'd like to try it, just mix together a 46 oz. can of pineapple juice, a 12-oz can of frozen OJ concentrate, and a 2-liter of ginger ale. It's so easy to make.

Our Wednesday morning Baby Praise class also had a small egg hunt this morning during class time. I think Liam had fun, although this time, he was so overjoyed to run around outside that I had to help him focus on hunting eggs.

 

P.S. Don't you just love his new blazer and hat my mom bought him? I know it's spring, but his new duds are perfect for the cold weather we've been having, and he wears them so well! And who can resist elbow patches on a little boy? 

My husband has the day off Friday, so we're hoping to do something special with Liam. At this point in my pregnancy, reality is hitting me that there won't be too many more moments just the three of us, so I really want to make the most of these next precious weeks with Liam. Did any of you moms feel bittersweet emotions about adding to your brood? What did you do to make the transition easier for your firstborn?
 

A stick and a rock.

I love that my son doesn't need flashy toys or expensive technology to be creative!

Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous outside, so we headed to the park for about two hours in the afternoon. The park in Trussville is really cool; three separate playgrounds with a surplus of slides and swings, climbing structures, etc. What did my kid want to do? Well, he ran around the perimeter track, chasing leaves in the wind, until he found a suitable stick and a rock. And he didn't let go of either. Who needs fancy playground equipment when you have a stick and rock?

I have sort of a love/hate relationship with technology. While I don't know how I ever lived without my iPhone, I refuse to use it much around Liam, and I don't let him play with it, either. It just feels like this villain that tries to attack my quality family time, and I don't want to teach my son to be glued to the phone when he's older. So I'm overjoyed when I see my son using his imagination to turn a boring old stick into a sword, a broom, a walking cane, and whatever else he was using it for that I couldn't figure out. 

That beloved stick brought out a mama bear moment in me, by the way. At one point I watched as an older boy grabbed Liam's stick right out of his hand and replace it with the boy's pitiful little twig he was playing with. Liam handled it like a champ; he just accepted the twig as his new toy, but some protective instinct came out of me. 

I looked at my friend (and new mom!) and said (very loudly, where the boy could hear me), "Did you see that kid take Liam's stick?" 

That caught the boy by surprise, and he looked at me. I said to him, "Well, that wasn't nice. Are you going to give it back?" 

Well, I must have scared him, and luckily his mom was already in the car getting ready for them to leave, so he ran off, stick in hand, to the car. That was probably best. I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth! Maybe I should have taken my cue from Liam and just let it go, or maybe it was the pregnancy that had removed my filtering system. Or maybe, as a mom, I wanted to use the opportunity to teach another kid proper playground manners. I'm usually quick to encourage Liam to get over it when someone acts in an unfair way toward him, but I was defending him before I even knew what was happening!

Have you ever had a mama bear moment like that? I'd love to know I'm not crazy!

Liam Lately...

Happy 18 months, Liam!

I’m sitting in my room drinking (decaf) coffee, and I can hear Liam in the kitchen during his playpen time talking on a pretend phone (a truck, clapper instrument, toy remote, or just his hand—anything is a phone these days!). This is his conversation:

“Hello? Yeah.

Huh? Oh, yeah yeah yeah.

Ooooh! Yeah yeah."

*babbles through a question*

*laughs hysterically*

"Huh? Oh, yeah yeah yeah."

*laughs and babbles some more*

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bye. Bye……..Bye." 

Gosh, I wonder who he is talking to, and what in the world they are talking about!

It seems like just last week we were celebrating at Liam’s first birthday party, but yesterday we were at his 18-month checkup…where does the time go? He is growing up so fast that it’s becoming harder to keep up with all the changes, so here is a snapshot of Liam lately: 

Stats: 21 lbs, 1 oz (he’s jumped from the 2^nd percentile to the 13^th!), 32.5 in. tall, staying consistently in the 60^th percentile. (He’s built like his daddy!) 

Total teeth count: 12. He just got six teeth in the past six weeks, including four molars. 

Favorite character: Curious George. (“There’s that monkey!” is one of his current phrases.)

A close second: Elmo. My mom introduced them. (He calls him “Melmo.”) 

Favorite foods: breakfast! Muffins, multigrain waffles, whole wheat cheese toast, oatmeal, bananas, pancakes, and Greek yogurt (“Go gur”). He’s going through a picky phase, but I can always count on him to enjoy breakfast foods. He also loves Chick Fil A nuggets. (Who doesn’t?) I’ve started making fruit and veggie smoothies with yogurt and multigrain cereal to fill in the gaps in his diet. 

What he’s saying: Mama, Daddy, Pawpaw, Laney, Rudy (his uncle), bye, hello, bubbles, yogurt, water, waffles, banana, thank you, more, ball, baby, yeah, Elmo, oatmeal, bear, squirrel, blue. And some phrases: “Bye, love you,” “There it is!” “Go go go,” “Clean up, clean up” 
What he’s signing: All done, more, thank you. (We’re still working on “please.”) 

Current obsession: dogs. He barks any time he sees a real dog, a picture of a dog, a stuffed dog, or even hears the word dog. The boy needs a puppy! 

Random: He does a mean downward dog, and he loves to “swim” in the bathtub (he glides on his stomach from one end to the other). No matter where he is or what he’s doing, the second he hears the garage door open in the evenings, he drops whatever’s in his hand, straightens up, and says “Daddy!” Then, he runs through the house to the basement door and stands there until his daddy comes up the steps. It’s adorable watching those two together!

What a fun age! Of course I think my son is the cutest in the world, and he’s got such a dynamic personality (which I think he gets from his mommy!). He’s definitely a flirt and a charmer and rarely has a shy moment. I can’t wait to see how he grows over the next six months and how he embraces life as a big brother.