This weekend Kelley and I transitioned Liam from a crib to a
toddler bed! We had strategized about this day since I found out I was pregnant,
but I had mixed feelings about it and wondered if he was too young, if we were
forcing it, if he’d fall out and get hurt, or if he’d put up a fight to get out
of bed.
It’s also a symbol of his growing independence, and that’s a
painful thing for me to process. Removing a significant boundary and the safety
of his crib and trusting him with a new level of independence is bittersweet
for a mom. (At least I have another baby on the way, right? I get to start from
the beginning again in a few short weeks!)
But this was what was needed for our growing family, and we
wanted to make this transition before Riley comes. In a way, preparing a place
for Riley in our home helps me make room for him in my heart. It’s a tangible
expression of me realizing that Liam will not be my one and only for much
longer.
So, this was the big weekend!
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| Showing off his new sleeping quarters. |
Liam loved his new bed! He’s a relatively quick learner when
it comes to listening to his daddy and me, and we didn’t have that much
resistance teaching him to stay seated in the bed. He was so excited about the
new bed that he stayed awake for almost three hours after bedtime talking to
his bear lovey until he finally crashed!
In an effort to be completely honest, though, I do think my
husband and I made it a little more stressful than it needed to be. We’d imagined
the worst and let the opinions of naysayers rattle the peace we’d had about our
decision. Not to mention that switching beds meant we set up Riley’s nursery
and moved around furniture and other belongings all weekend. It was a little
overwhelming, despite how productive we were. Tears flowed and tempers flared. And
Liam felt our anxiety, because even though he was cooperative about the new
bed, he was as tense as we were this weekend about so much change at once.
We ended on a good note, at least. I in no way think we are
experts in this area, and most of the time it felt like we were having to make
things up as we went along, but since the big change was a victory, I’ll mention
a few things we did that made the transition smoother:
We thought about what
we wanted this new phase to look like, and we set the standards. I got a
lot of comments from others such as, “You can kiss naptimes goodbye,” “Good
luck getting him to listen to you,” “Oh, he’s going to climb out of the bed;
there’s no avoiding that,” etc. It’s a good thing my husband and I are
stubborn! Instead of letting Liam determine the boundaries, we made our
expectations clear and made sure he knew that we were in charge. Liam will
eventually rise to whatever standard we set (even if he challenges us at
first), so we made sure he knew what we expected: he was not to stand up in the
bed (for safety reasons), and he was not to get out of bed until one of us came
and got him (because sleep time is not play time).
We involved Liam as
much as possible. I’d talked to Liam for weeks about how his new “big boy”
bed was coming soon, all the way from Mississippi. (The bed is a hand-me-down
from his older cousin.) He got to help us pick out the bedding and even
“helped” Kelley put the bed together. We kept the bedding close to the same
color and style as his crib bedding, at least for a while, to help ease the
transition.
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| Helping Daddy assemble the bed. |
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| Testing things out. |
We ditched the crib.
Some websites online suggested leaving the crib in the room and allowing the
child to sleep in it still, until he gets used to seeing the big bed. I felt
this would be confusing, and I didn’t want to give Liam an “out.” In an effort
to just keep things simple, we removed the crib and didn’t look back.
We maintained his
naptime and bedtime routines. Predictability seems to make kids feel
secure, and keeping his routine the same helped him understand that he was
supposed to act like business as usual.
We respected who he
is. The first night, we noticed that Liam was having trouble getting
settled. He usually buries his head in the corner of the bumper when he sleeps,
and Kelley mentioned that he probably just didn’t know what to do without the
bumper. So I made a Target run and got a couple of body pillows to add to the
bed. My makeshift bumper seemed to do the trick; Liam settled in and went right
to sleep.
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| Finally asleep! |
Liam sleeps 12 hours at night, usually from 7:30-8 until
7:30-8. Most mornings I don’t get him up until 8, so if he wakes up a little
early, he’ll play in his crib until I go get him. This morning, he woke up at
7:15, but instead of going ahead and getting him up when he was ready, I put
some stuffed animals and a book in his bed and told him to stay in there until
I came back to get him. With a few things to entertain him, he did exactly
that!
We rewarded his
obedience. To thank him for being so obedient, I surprised him with a new
Curious George hand puppet book. And this morning, when he stayed in bed until Kelley
and I went back for him, we lavished our praise on him.
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| Reading his new book to Daddy and me |
Since we switched out Liam's bed, that meant we were able to get the nursery at least partly set up. We still need to figure out a small nightstand and lamp and hang wall art, but here's at least a sneak peek:
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| Riley's woodland friends. |
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| "Why is my furniture in here now?" |
